Behind the Silence: Navigating the Emotional and Behavioral Challenges of Migrant Children

One day, in a meeting with the teacher of a 7-year-old recently immigrated child, I saw that the child was not responding to questions, not making eye contact, and was completely withdrawn. “Could he be on the autism spectrum?” the teacher worried. I thought silently, “This silence could be due to the language barrier, the fear, and the big changes he is going through.” When I learned that this was the teacher's first experience with a migrant student, without labeling the child -and still keeping the concern in mind - we had a conversation about being a migrant with this teacher who had never lived anywhere other than the city where she was born.

When migrant children step into a new country, school, language and often a completely different culture, there are significant changes in the way they communicate with their environment and in their behavior. From the perspective of teachers and school psychologists, these children often appear at one of two extremes: they are either the quietest, most withdrawn children in the class, or, on the contrary, noticeably restless, aggressive or difficult to adapt to. These differences are sometimes misinterpreted and children may be labeled “hyperactive”, “disobedient”, ‘unaccepting’ or “on the autism spectrum”. Underneath these behaviors, however, lie the silent cries of children in great turmoil.

What's Behind the Silence?

The migration process creates radical changes in children's lives. These changes cause children to reshape their identities, their sense of belonging and their communication repertoire. Silence or excessive behavior may be part of children's efforts to adapt to the new world. However, the underlying causes of these behaviors are often not understood and are often ignored.

Silence is often fueled by three main sources:

• Emotional Burden: For the child, migration means separation, loss, uncertainty and a shaken sense of security. The separation from a loved environment, familiar people and a familiar language environment creates anxiety and fear. This emotional burden directly affects the way children express themselves.

  
  

• Linguistic Inadequacy: It is difficult to express oneself in the new language, to express emotions and needs. Because of the language barrier, children may prefer to remain silent or express themselves through body language. In an environment where they cannot even use their mother tongue, it becomes impossible to express themselves completely.

• Social Positioning and the Search for Identity: Thoughts such as “I should speak less here”, “I am different, I am not accepted” limit the child's social interactions. The weak sense of belonging pushes the child to withdraw or overcomply.

Although this silence is often seen as a problem, it is often a coping mechanism. Silence is the child's way of saying “I am trying to understand the world and create safe spaces”.

The Other End of Silence: Behavior Problems

On the other hand, some migrant children react in the opposite way; they can be aggressive, hostile, restless and resistant to rules in the classroom. Similar psychological mechanisms underlie these behaviors:

• Anxiety and Lack of Control: Uncertainty and insecurity may cause the child to act out.

• Language and Social Deficits: Difficulty in communication, inability to verbally express emotions, and the tendency to express anger and stress through behavior.

• Exclusion and Alienation: Not being socially accepted or feeling “different” can turn into outward problematic behaviors.

These two extreme examples are actually different reflections of the inner pain experienced by the child.

Therapy and Support: When and How?

The migration process affects parents as deeply as children. New jobs, bureaucracy, financial difficulties can deplete the psychological energy of families. This also directly affects the mental health of children. If the child

• If there is a long-standing disturbance in sleep and diet,

• There is a decline in socialization and play skills,

• If he/she does not want to go to school and resists,

• Emotional fluctuations, excessive fear, anger or sadness,

It is important to seek professional psychological support.

When to start therapy?

Ideally, contact and support should be made before the migration. In a sense, this is like taking out “insurance”. Taking precautions before the crisis occurs prevents deep traumas in the future.

The therapy process should be linguistically and culturally appropriate for the child. Methods such as play therapy, systemic family therapy, language support programs can be adapted to the needs of migrant children.

School, Family and Psychologist Collaboration

In order to best meet the needs of migrant children, a tripartite cooperation is essential:

• School: Teachers observe children's behavior and communication in the classroom and should be flexible and responsive to provide an appropriate environment. They should be aware of cultural differences and avoid labeling children.

  
  

• Family: Provide information about the child's behavior, feelings and experiences at home, and be supportive and patient. They should also care about their own psychological health.

  
  

• Psychologist: Assesses the needs of the child and the family and develops an intervention plan; maintains constant communication with the school and the family.

  
  

What Should We As Parents Do At Home?

• Be Patient: A child's silence or behavior is a complex reflection of his/her inner world. With time and appropriate support, this can change.

  
  

• Look Beyond Language: Evaluate the child's behavior not only in terms of verbal communication, but also in terms of body language, play and emotional reactions.

• Create Safe Spaces: Providing spaces where children can express themselves, make mistakes and receive support facilitates adaptation.

• Understand Cultural Differences: Respecting the culture the child comes from supports identity development.

  
  

• Protect Your Own Health: The mental health of parents also affects the healing process of children.

The silence and behavior of migrant children is a complex and multidimensional process that needs to be understood. Silence is not a problem; it is often a child's way of understanding the world and protecting themselves. It is important to hear and understand the story behind silence and behaviors and to provide appropriate support to children, families, and schools in this sensitive process.

Are you ready to hear and understand the story behind silence?